2010 has been a tough year for me to say the least. In April I lost my Dad to Cancer, and I'm sad to say, on the 30th November my Mum passed away from Cancer also.
Unlike when my Dad passed, I was told of my mother's fate in February of this year, and although we had 6 months of her being reasonably well, I knew the end result and the approximate timing it would take to play out. The last 2 months of Mum's life were spent in and out of hospital & palliative care. But I'm proud to say that she fought with everything she had until the very end. If I can go through my life with half as much strength as what she showed in her last year of life.... I'll be a force to be reckoned with.
Mum's funeral was held on the 6th December, the day before my 29th birthday. I decided in the horrible few days before she passed away that I would speak at her funeral and tell people about the kind of person my Mum really was. To be honest, I think I really needed to do this for myself, to release and share some of my grief. I found it to be a very cathartic experience, which helped to bring me peace. So to continue in my journey for peace and healing, here's what I wrote about my Mum and read out at her funeral.....
"For those of you that don’t know me, I’m Lynda, Bev’s youngest daughter, and I’d like to share with you some things about my Mum that made her the amazing person that she was.
Mum was an extremely talented lady who could whip up just about anything with a needle, thread & a little bit of love.
One of my favorite things about Mum was that she lacked the filter between brain and mouth, and would often say exactly what she was thinking! This was so endearing to me, because you always knew exactly where you stood. If you asked Mum how she feeling that day, and she said ‘Shit-house’ you knew she wasn’t lying! Mum often said what she thought about people’s hair & clothes to their faces… this wasn’t always said in the most polite way… but it didn’t mean she loved them any less. In fact, I’m hard pressed to find a person that Mum hated or didn’t like. She always managed to see another side to people.
I was fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with Mum alone in her last few months, and she shared some of her proudest and most cherished moments with me.
She told me how she beamed the day she watched her eldest daughter get married… and holding her grandson, Ethan, for the first time was a moment that will stick in my mind forever – only a Nana can have a face so thankful and proud.
When Mum watched her only son march onto the parade ground for his March Out ceremony in the Army – both her and Dad shone with pride, and could hardly believe the handsome young man, who’d come such a long way in only the 6 short weeks beforehand. Knowing the their son is willing to defend his country is something that they kept close to their hearts with a huge amount of love and respect.
One thing I find simply amazing was when Mum told me about when she met Dad. She said she could hardly believe that a blond haired, blue-eyed spunk (her words, not mine) like my Dad could ever be interested in her! She honestly believed he was out of her league, and never imagined he’d stick around…. Well guess what Mum… he did, for 35 years. In fact, I think most people that knew my parents well, would think that Dad was the lucky one, to have such a gorgeous lady by his side through thick and thin.
Mum was often the complete opposite to Dad. He was the social butterfly, and she was the homebody. Mum liked her own company, and seemed to enjoy her time alone. I like this fact about her; it makes me think she really had achieved the greatest love of all… she learned to love herself."
After a year of sadness, I decided to end 2010 on a positive and indulgent note. So I organised with my Top 3 (Lenore) to cross something off my list, No. 74 - Share a bottle of Dom Perignon with my Top 3!
